Last November, we were contacted on behalf of Nikki DuBose, former model turned advocate, who has written a memoir about her experiences with many mental health issues, include eating disorders. While we were given a free copy of the book, all thoughts below are our own, and we are not receiving any monetary compensation for this post.
I received the copy of Nikki’s book, Washed Away: From Darkness to Light first, and when I finished reading, I mailed it to Andrea. I was able to power through the first half of the book fairly quickly, for two reasons: the book is extremely well written and very easy to read, and I was able to distance myself from most of the topics covered fairly easily. While not perfect, my early childhood home life was typical. I never experienced abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) and was never exposed to alcoholism or drug abuse (my immediate family does not smoke, drink or use drugs).
In that same vein, what was difficult to read was the inner thought process surrounding eating disorders. It’s one of the reasons why I think this book is an excellent read not for someone who is going through recovery of an eating disorder, but someone who has a friend or family with an eating disorder. One of the biggest components of eating disorders is shame, and that feeds into guilt. Those two emotions are extremely hard to put into words for someone who has no issues with food or body image.
Even as I read the words, I could both relate to them and understand Nikki’s thought process. I found myself nodding along as the words on the page reflected what I thought so many times before, but could never properly express. There were times when I wanted to shove this book at my family and friends and say, This! This is what I’m feeling!